I heard them come in. It was the middle of the night. My ex-husband and his brother had been only Jehovah knows where doing only Jehovah knows what. I peacefully drifted back to sleep comforted by Jehovah's promises to never leave me nor forsake me. No matter what happened Jehovah was my strength.
I awakened to being hit in the mouth by my ex-husband. I could taste the blood as I pleaed, "What is wrong with you? Why did you hit me?" His reply was, "What are you doing in the bed asleep?" I said, "It is the middle of the night. The children and I went to bed hours ago? What are you doing?" Little of what he did made sense. He would drink so excessively and pee in the cabinets and the corners of a room. When I complained his reply was, "I ain't peed in the cabinet or I ain't peed in the floor." He never took ownership of what he did when he was drinking. He never took ownership of what he did that I didn't like. He always denied it. It seemed like if I saw him put on red underwear and he wanted me to believe they were yellow he would argue me down that they were yellow.
I tried him one night though. I held one of his expensive cowboy boots in my hand and brought it towards his stream of urine and he stopped urinating. So he did know. He knew that he was peeing in by kitchen cabinet. This man who did such ungodly and hurtful things and denied it all and blamed it on his drinking knew. No longer could he tell me that he didn't remember and get away with it. I would try to talk to him and plea with him to stop drinking and go to church with me and live right.
For so long I lived with this exhibiting the fruit of the spirit. I remained calm and loving and kind and patient and just knew I could love him out of it but now I knew that he knew. He wanted to do these things and say the things that he said. He never recanted. He never apologized. He never showed any remorse for doing and saying such horrible things to me and tearing me down. This wasn't something that I could love him out of. Only Jehovah could change his heart.
Verse: There is therefore now no condemnation to them which (who live in union) are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:2
So often after people get saved they feel as though they come up short. Living a life free from sin is impossible. Only one man ever did it and that was Jesus Christ. But there is good news.
We who have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior and live in union with him are no longer condemned. Because in our mind we choose to serve God we are set free from the law of sin and death. Trying to live without sin is overwhelming.
We are made of flesh and spirit. There is a war going on between our flesh and spirit. We overcome the urge to sin by bringing our mind back to Christ, praying, studying the Bible, meditating on a verse, listening to Christian music, etc. But sometimes that is not enough.
At times we will sin. It is important to not dwell on the sin. If you dwell on your mistake it will weaken your spirit. Instead dwell on the fact that the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made you free from the law of sin and death.
One of Jesus Christ disciples and one of the best apostles who ever lived explained the war between the flesh and the spirit as follows:
For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent (agree) unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no (not really me) more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth (lives) in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched (miserable) man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which (who live in union) are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity (opposed) against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye (you) are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. Romans 7:14 - Romans 8:10
Verse: Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:24 (KJV)
Salvation is a gift that we receive by having faith in God. Because of God's merciful and loving-kindness he graciously set us free from sin. God made Jesus who knew no sin to be sin for us so that we might be made the righteousness of God. Jesus fulfilled the law so that we may live under the period of grace and have everlasting life. The only thing necessary for us to do to attain salvation is for us to believe in our heart and confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus and that God raised him from the dead.
For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. 2 Corinthians 5:21 (KJV)
But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Romans 10:8-13
But without faith it is impossible to please him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6